Monday, April 2, 2012

Mercy - Part 1

How did I find myself sobbing on a curb in downtown Dallas with no car, no money and Maggie walking barefoot on the littered sidewalk, naked except for a diaper? Yes, this really did happen and I'll get to it a bit later.

This incident pretty much sums up the past month- think miry pit in Psalm 40. I really haven't been able to write - partly because I'm scared what I do will come across as bitterness (and maybe it is) and partly because I know people tire of reading of our struggles (I know I am!).

But God's faithfulness has prevailed so I must write...

This past month :
-We've been in a terrible wreck
-We temporarily lost our health insurance
-Maggie has been to the ER
-She got a terrible infection around her button and was in so much pain that she wouldn't let her own mother come near her without screaming and kicking in fear
-We watched my dad mourn the death of his mother as we buried her last week
-We've watched Maggie battle open sores and bruises from the halo that she now burdens 24 hours a day
-We are still waiting to hear everyday about her MRI results (it's maddening)
-We've suffered deeply in other ways I cannot specify.

Let's put it this way, you know it's bad when you catch your husband dusting Chuck Swindoll's book "Job" off the bookshelf:)

What I have learned this past month is that this world - and sadly most people in it - has no mercy. But God's mercy is infinite. So why do I keep relying on the world to heal my problems (doctors, insurers, books)) and not Him who sits on Heaven's Mercy Seat?

I'll have to continue this story later as I hear little patters of feet running across the house- breakfast needs to be made.

"For troubles without number surround me; my sins have overtaken me, and cannot see. They are more than the hairs of my head, and my heart fails within me. Be pleased to save me, LORD; come quickly, LORD, to help me."

Psalm 40:12-14

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