Sunday, July 18, 2010

My apologies

After my last posting I just have to say that I always feel really bad after venting like that - especially when I know that the mothers out there who lost their babies to PPROM or some other tragedy would do anything to have their babies in their arms, even if they did have a lot of issues. I often have guilt about feeling frustrated with our situation, especially when I know how much worse it could be. I told myself and God last year on bed rest that I did not care if Maggie was disabled or had a genetic disorder or had a tracheotomy, as long as she was alive I could handle it. I meant it then and I still do. So I apologize if I came across the wrong way. There is not an hour that goes by each day that I do not think about what the alternative could have been. I find myself gazing at the video monitor or frequently glancing in the rear view mirror at Maggie, almost surprised that I actually see her there alive. I am continually amazed at God's mercy and what He did in our lives and what He is doing now with our daily struggles.


  1. Hey,

    Don't be so hard on yourself. It is hard work having a preemie with special needs. I am so glad that Maggie is here and even with all the care you have to give her it is awesome to know she is so loved and cared for. God gave her to you because He knew you could do this...with Him it is possible. I am a PROM mom from the PROM list and my precious Jeremiah is in heaven with Jesus and your frustration posts did not annoy me but made me realize you are going through a hard time and I need to continue to pray for you and encourage you. I love your posts all of them they are real! You are loved and are doing a super duper job with your precious girls. Hugs
    Jodie (jodieinnewbrunswick @ yahoo. ca minus the spaces)

  2. It is difficult being a PROM mom for sure, but what joy they bring to our lives. I had Jada and Reese at 23 weeks gestation. Reese went home to the Lord, but Jada is our little miracle baby! Certain days bring challenges that others don't, and it's emotionally tiring at times. Hang in there, we are praying for her to take to feeding. Mary Catherine is a new friend of mine in Chicago! Thank you for sharing your story, and posting pics of your precious girls. Allie-