Sunday, July 18, 2010
After my last posting I just have to say that I always feel really bad after venting like that - especially when I know that the mothers out there who lost their babies to PPROM or some other tragedy would do anything to have their babies in their arms, even if they did have a lot of issues. I often have guilt about feeling frustrated with our situation, especially when I know how much worse it could be. I told myself and God last year on bed rest that I did not care if Maggie was disabled or had a genetic disorder or had a tracheotomy, as long as she was alive I could handle it. I meant it then and I still do. So I apologize if I came across the wrong way. There is not an hour that goes by each day that I do not think about what the alternative could have been. I find myself gazing at the video monitor or frequently glancing in the rear view mirror at Maggie, almost surprised that I actually see her there alive. I am continually amazed at God's mercy and what He did in our lives and what He is doing now with our daily struggles.