Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

Maggie is doing much better today. They haven't had to put her back on the CPAP, for which we are so thankful. She has not had as many "episodes" and we think it is because they are giving her new medications and have adjusted her oxygen settings. It is a little strange that they can't give us clear reasons why she had such a setback but I guess knowing it's pretty common for preemies is reassuring. A few good things: she is now 3 pounds, 4ounces; they are trying to let her regulate her own body temperature by turning down the temp of the incubator (in preparation for moving to her a crib); and they fed her with a bottle today for the first time to see how she would do with a nipple and she gulped the whole thing down in 22 minutes! So that's all good progress for such a tiny person!

Looking at her today I can tell she is getting a little bigger and starting to look more like a healthy baby. It is such a blessing to have her here with us. This weekend we put up our Christmas decorations. Throughout my time on bed rest I thought about how sad it would be to put up our stockings if Maggie didn't survive, not knowing if it was the right thing to put up a stocking for her or not. What an awful thing that I know several of my friends are going through for the first time this year - trying to figure out how to celebrate our the birth of baby Jesus all while mourning the loss of their own babies. I really thought that was going to be us this year. And it's kind of thrown me off that it's not. It just doesn't seem fair. That's why I burst out sobbing when we actually hung Maggie's stocking - something I had hoped and prayed for - because I know while we celebrate there are so many others who are suffering.

I just hope that I never forget what an emptiness and sadness I felt last year after losing a child through miscarriage and this year with just the mere thought of losing Maggie.  It is those experiences that have given me such a compassion for others going through similar circumstances.  And hopefully God will use that compassion for His good purposes. This year I pray that He will bless our friends who mourn and comfort them in a way that no human can. And give them a joy that can only be experienced by knowing our Savior who was born in a manger 2,000 years ago.

Seeing our four stockings made me cry...


  1. Thanks for always sharing your true feelings and being honest! What a blessing to have Maggie and I'm so thankful you can hang 4 stockings with joy!

  2. What a beautiful post! ~Taylor