Thursday, October 15, 2009


I don't mean to be negative but I am just about at the end of my rope. The bleeding hasn't stopped and everytime I do, this deep fear washes over me because I just don't know what is about to happen. I am exhausted cause I have to get up all through the night and only get about 4 hours a sleep a night. And Maggie's kicking has gotten so strong and with low fluid there is not that usual barrier and so it it just painful at times. I just feel disgusting and lethargic and not like myself. I think I have hit a low point!
I don't want this to be over, I just want things to stabilize for a while. I know I sound like a whiner and I am sorry. I am not forgetting that God has been so good to us and I am still so thankful for our good news on Monday. This week has just been a hard one, both physically and emotionally. Thankfully I have the most patient husband in the world who puts up with all my weaknesses!

I am praying that things are still the same at our sonogram tomorrow. Also praying for strength and patience and calmness!
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day...


  1. Dearest Lee and Justin, I have just visited your blog to catch up and read your journey that has been long and difficult. But you have written, Lee, and I have found that writing heals as we go through the valley. It is a gift that God has given you. You will look back and read it again many times and it will remind you of God's faithfulness throughout this time. I pray for little Maggie, trusting God for her completely. She is his and he has already ordained the days of her life - perfectly and secure, be they few or many. We can trust in the Creator. God seems to give me more courage and strength every day, but today has been hard for me too. Maybe the nonstop rain. And I returned to Psalm 40 and have prayed over that for you. I love you dearly and pray for you and think of you and wait with you, trusting always. Marcia

  2. Lee,
    I continue to pray that the Lord will give you strengh and wrap His loving arms around you. I can't imagine how tough this is. Just remember what an inspiration you are to so many. Maggie is a fighter and she has touched so many already. Love you, Ashley Carson

  3. Just wanted you to know that someone in LR is praying for you and your sweet family as God carries you on this journey. I can't imagine the frustration and the fear that you face every day, but what I do know is the desire to have a healthy baby. I am praying for you. I am praying for Maggie. God is good - He is the great physician! Hang in there!!

  4. Lee and Justin

    Just a quick note to say that Aunt Lynette just told me about this blog. I am sitting here crying and praying so hard for Maggie and you to come through this with flying colors. I know that God has given you and will continue to give you the strength to continue.

    As it says in Romans 12:12 Be Joyful because you have hope. Be patient when trouble comes, and pray at all times.

    Please know that prayers are being sent up daily for continued progress.

    Love you

    Uncle Steve & Aunt Cindy