"Trust in Him all of your days, O people; pour out your heart to Him for God is our refuge." Psalm 62:8
Well I have calmed down a lot since Friday. My sweet doctor came in yesterday morning and I told him I was all panicked after my sonogram and what the specialist told me. In his normal, calm manner he said, "Don't worry, Lee, you are doing great." He reminded me that I have had fluid up until this point and, even though it's not much, it's been right where it needed to be during the weeks of her lung development. He also said that Maggie has done better than anyone ever thought and that fact alone should encourage me. I felt better after talking with him and after just realizing (for the umpteenth time) that I just don't have any control over this situation. It's like I am in a continous cycle: bad news, then panic, then fear, and finally a surrender to God. I wish I could just skip steps 2 and 3 but I am too weak. All I know to do is pour out my heart to the Lord for Maggie's life - and that's what I do, day and night.
I have a specific prayer request. The specialists can do a diagnostic MRI at 26 weeks (in about a week and a half) which can determine if Maggie's lungs are properly developed or not. I was hesitant to do it at first, fearful that if it yielded a bad result the doctors might write off Maggie as a hopeless case and not do everything they can do to save her. But we were assured this would not be the case and, hopefully, the MRI can tell the NICU doctors how to better care for Maggie when she is born.
So my prayer is that the doctors will see healthy, vibrant lungs like they would see on any other 26 week fetus. I know it is a bold prayer, considering Maggie's background. But the Bible says God can do "immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine." Why then should I doubt that He can do this? He has already answered so many of our prayers for Maggie, and His miraculous works in her little body have already been clearly seen. I know no matter what the results of the MRI say, God can still save Maggie if he chooses. But I would just love for those doctors to come back and tell me she is going to okay. That would be so wonderful.