God hasn't been trying an experiment on my faith and love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't...He always knew my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize it the fact was to knock it all down.
What C.S. Lewis wrote so long ago really spoke to me. Through the past nine weeks, God has revealed to me how weak my faith really was, just like a house of cards. I am 23 weeks today and praying that this journey continues a lot longer. The closer I make it to my due date,the better for the baby. But also the better for me. Each day that I am challenged my faith is being put through the fire. It is being refined to be purer and holier. And that surely has to be one of God's great purposes for this hardship.
Going to the hospital on Thursday -yippee! Who knew one could be so excited about a potential long term hospital stay?! But I am. I just feel like I have reached such a milestone and just want to keep going as long as possible. I will be admitted on Thursday and get my first steroid shot. Please pray that it will really make a difference in the baby's lung development. I am also praying for all the doctors and nurses that will care for us- that they will be of sound judgement and that God will work through them to save Maggie.