But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield." Psalm 5:11-12
I have been praying the above psalm for Maggie today- that God would spread His protection over her and surround her with His shield.
We ended up going to the specialist today instead of Monday. I have to admit that I am frightened over some things. First, the doctor saw something that concerned her about some of the heart valves. She admits that it is very hard to tell due to the lack of fluid, but she does want me to go see a pediatric cardiologist for further examination. This was upsetting because if there is a problem, it is not at all related to the amniotic fluid problem, rather it's just another rare problem. Please pray that the cardiologist will see nothing at all wrong so we have one less thing to deal with when Maggie is born.
Second, she said my cervix looks like it could be shortening, which is really scary if that is the case because it could send me into labor. If I didn't have the risk of infection, they could do more to help but instead all they can do is tell me to continue bed rest.
I feel discouraged and weak, like I just don't have the heart to take any more bad news. The situation seems so dire sometimes that I catch myself wondering how on earth this could all turn out okay? But as a dear friend reminded me yesterday, God is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine. I keep telling myself that over and over. I just so badly want to make it further so our baby can have a chance to live.
I am pleading with the Lord every hour to show us his mercy and goodness during this time. I cannot go on without His strength for I have none left of my own.