Sunday, August 30, 2009

Feeling anxious

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything with prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

My mom got a plastic bin at Target today and filled it with special toys and activities that I can do with Mary Lawrence on the bed. We put a cute little "doctor's kit" in there. Someone suggested it might a be a good idea to start preparing her for mommy's time in the hospital. Mary Lawrence is already having such a hard time with me being in the bed all the time.  I am just dreading how my hospital stay will affect her. She can't tell us how she is feeling - if she is scared or worried - she just doesn't understand and it breaks my heart. I have been in tears a lot today because of it.

But while I am so worried about how Mary Lawrence will take to my absence, I am also really anxious to get to 23 weeks and get to the hospital. Fears have been creeping up the past few days. My biggest fear is that I will get an infection or go into labor before then. I so badly want to make it far enough where the doctors will give our baby a chance. I feel like I have made it so far and want to keep going! Please pray that my fears will subside, that I will be strong and courageous. And that my faith will continue to grow.

And please don't stop praying for our little girl! We still have such a long way to go. We go to the specialist tomorrow afternoon and are praying we see more fluid and everything else is still developing normally.

1 comment:

  1. I'm praying for you daily. Don't worry about ML because she will be fine. She might have some adjustment issues at first, but she won't remember any of this in the long run, and it won't affect her permanently. I was on bedrest for 11 weeks with my second child, and I had a three year old. He is eight years old now, and he has never been scarred by that experience and has no memories of it! God will provide for ML. Keep the faith! Michelle Cearley