Wednesday, August 12, 2009

My new calendar

My weeks are no longer measured by what day of the week it is. Rather, each day is a countdown to my next doctor's appointment: One day until I go to my doctor, five days until I go to the specialist. Or it is measured by how far along my pregnancy is - today I am 17 weeks, 2 days.

Every day that I wake up with no major changes is another victory: I have made it one more day with my baby safely inside me. One day closer to the magic number of 23 weeks when I will be admitted to the hospital for the remainder of my pregnancy. I could never before have imagined a situation where I was looking forward to going to the hospital for possibly many months. But for me it is about being at that magic number when the baby is considered "viable" by doctors and they will actually try to save the baby if he is born past that time.

The next few weeks are crucial. The baby's lungs develop tissue between 18-20 weeks and without amniotic fluid they cannot develop properly. I might make it to 40 weeks but if the lungs are not developed when the baby is born, he will not be able to breathe. I try not to think about the horror of that situation. Instead, I am fervently praying for renewed hope at our appointment tomorrow afternoon. I pray we see a lot more fluid and see that the baby is still growing properly. I am praying, as someone told me recently, that this baby is our "miracle baby"!


  1. Lee...I just found out about everything....and I am on my knees for you and Justin!! I can't imagine how heart-wrenching this is. I am so proud of the way you are walking through this time. You are such a good mother!! I am praying for a miracle.

    Lindsey (Daniels) Wheeler

  2. Sarah Morgan BonhamAugust 12, 2009 at 5:40 PM

    I am praying and praying for good news tomorrow. Lee, your honest words of faith and struggle inspire me and remind me of what a Godly woman is. ML is so lucky to have you as her adoring and selfless mother. Just know that you and your baby are covered in prayer. I will also be praying for Justin's strength to give you the support you need.

  3. Lee...I just spent some time getting updated on your blog...hadn't read it in a few weeks, and praise God for the pockets of fluid!!! How amazing that God is providing hope. We will continue to pray that the fluid gets to be more and more, and that your body stays free of infection...and that your thoughts continue to draw you to Jesus and his power. We love you. Taylor, Nate and Kelly

  4. lee,

    i am praying for you...and give you a little more hope to hold onto. my little girl was born at 31.5 weeks. when i was put in the hospital her lungs had not yet developed. apparently, a woman's body has to release a hormone at any given time for the baby to develop lungs. i was given 2 shot of hormones that developed charlie's lungs. i just know you can make it to 23 weeks...if the baby comes early, know that the nicu is an amazing place with incredible teams of people. charlie spent some time there and we are forever grateful for children's miracle network!! if the baby makes it full term, we are all thrilled!! i am praying for all of you. please let justin know as well.

    julie mckinney scarborough