Nov 7

Maggie is as precious as ever. Today is the first time I was strong enough to stroll (in a wheelchair, of course) down to the NICU by myself. Justin went home to rest so I got to spend some good time with her alone. I was even strong enough to stand up next to her incubator so I could see her better. Before I've been too weak and had to sit in my wheelchair the whole time and just leaning over slightly to talk to her was so painful.

But back to Maggie-I really got to see her tiny arms and legs up close. They are so skinny and wrinkly but so cute. And amazingly strong. She puts up quite a protest when they change her diaper! I watched the nurse do an assessment, which is done every 4 hours. It was kind of hard to watch. They adjust her tubes and I can tell it's uncomfortable for her and she doesn't like it. They also suction out her throat and she squirms like crazy. Of course I started crying seeing her like that. She is so tiny and helpless and has to put up with so much poking and prodding. I sang to her while they did all that and tried to calm her down. But of course, on about the second verse I choke up and couldn't anymore. Babies this young don't like to be overstimulated so I can't stroke her but instead can cup one hand around her head and another around her feet and that tight feeling makes her feel secure. That was really special.

Her first feeding went well but her second feeding did not. It's not a huge deal and they will try again tomorrow. Please pray thar her digestive system is developed enough to digest the milk. It is the best thing that will allow her to gain weight and get rid of her jaundice.

Tomorrow I will go home. You would think after 6 weeks here I would be running out the door but I am sort of dreading it. It's not natural for a mother to be separated from her newborn like this. Of course I will be up here all the time, but it's not the same. She has heard my voice 24 hours a day for the past 30 weeks and now she will not. But I know she is where she needs to be right now and I am praying daily that God will protect her and keep her healthy here. Praying for the doctors and nurses who make crucial decisions about her care every day. And praying that soon we will be bringing her home.